Sunday, August 17, 2014

My Recipe for Water

  We could, I suppose; begin a water cult now that we have the recipe for the stuff. I've been thinking it over some, and for five bucks I think I can see my way clear to make you a high-priest (or priestess as the case may be) in our new water cult... Interested?
  We have not yet come up with a catchy name for the cult, or worked out any of the major doctrines yet, but boy; do we have great drinks!...or what? Even better (?) than the Christian drug of choice, caffeine! Wowsers.
  Now the perverse feature of a blog which is formatted in this fashion, is that somewhat like a scroll, one reads. However, in order to read it aright, you have to stand on your head, or at minimum read it backwards. See? The format is bottom-up, and so previous entries appear as "below". So then; I am modifying my prior recipe a bit, and frankly, it's far, far, for the better!
  We keep the "spinny, dopey, con luz" gig, those aspects are basic it seems to me. However, since composing that mess a few weeks ago, I have since finished Dr. Pollack's improbably good read; "The Fourth Phase of Water". This bad-boy is "book-zilla", it's alarmingly good writing in my humble estimate. And I am definitely a "book person", I should be able (by now) to recognize good writing. Okay, Tolkien he ain't, but who is? Get real. Excellence in writing, how is it done anyhow? Beats me!...but we kinda already knew that Pal. But, back to my recipe for water, Dr. P. said somewhere in there, that salt tends toward collapsing (or restricting was it?) this boundary-type wet stuff. So, salt has got to go. That's the only loss, but there remain two gains I never even dreamt of when writing "Spinny, Dopey, Aguas Con Sal y Luz" a few weeks ago.
  Part of the new recipe comes tangentially from Dr. Pollack. I was so stoked by his work, that I e-mailed the guy. He was nice enough to squeeze in a response. Very funny, "human-type" of dude. In brief; in trailer-trash-speak (my native tongue), he is "good people". So, I asked about ice cubes at Village Inn (don't get me started); and his response included the throwaway line that, in the coffee, "near ice" the EZ water would ordinarily be present...and this got me wondering again! What if we ditch the salt, and try placing atop the "Nolte-like device" (prepare yourself...) ice cubes? "Sta muy bueno homeboy!", to put it mildly; in Spanglish. But we ain't done yet Bubba, not by a longshot!
  So, the last fix (which I anticipate developing) I suggest for our little cult's water recipe, is the dope itself. Up until about four hours ago, I would have agreed with the generalization; "dope is dope" (to imply "superfood" powders). Sure, we can get several flavors, and certainly the texture and grind of the stuff might vary according to taste. I am now in full surrender mode. I have come out of my hide-out, and agree with the Sheriff. Arrest me already, will ya? Laying down my sword, and I ain't gonna make war no more! least on the dope issue. You see my friend, I have stumbled upon dope-zilla, the mother-lode of dopey-qua-dopiness, as it were. The King Kong of dope I tell you... well, at least as far as spinny water goes, I would affirm.
  Excuse me George, but is this turning into some kind of info-mercial? At what point does the other shoe drop, and I hit you with the sales pitch? Answer: Never! Figure out what product I refer to your own self will ya? But onto the recipe eh?
  In the first place, it's not that different from the previous essay we cite above. Why repeat that stuff? Let's just talk about the new improved species okay? So, start with basically de-chlorinated water. The "hard" way is to spend seven bucks, and buy a decent activated charcoal filter. Calvinists in general, being notorious cheapskates will find (trust me here) a way to "not". So, the lowball method is as I noted above in the other C.P.E., is to simply pull water from the tap, and let it out-gas. That nasty junk will simply go away if you give it time. Next, all that essay guck stated previously about the "Nolte-like device "(Pic-Quik cups, Wal-Mart practice golf balls), still holds true. Proceed to spin the water through there six or eight times as previously discussed. The difference is to add ice, (cubed, not crushed?) atop the toy golf balls. If you use tap temperature water (let's guess 70 degrees?) the water chills very rapidly, so adios Mr. ice cube. Repeat the process with the same water, and new cubes. This time they melt much slower. About six reps into the process, start looking for bubbles (not foam) rising to the top, and staying for approximately 3 (?) seconds. Spoon in the dope. For a 52 oz. sized drink cup, I'm adding about a c.c. of the green meanie in question. We are not trying to "flavor" the water here, but rather to get the bubbles atop the surface to stay put better. The good dope will do so for perhaps a half minute? Dope-zilla by contrast, still has live ones present after about ten minutes (?) just now, in my cup. This is my first day with d-z, and so I don't actually know the duration here. In short, this powder ROCKS! The final step remains true. Pik-Quik cups are extruded from a clear plastic, so you use a small mirror and set your cup outdoors in the sunshine on the mirror. Then, you bother an h.v.a.c. guy for a lousy scrap of single-wall galvanized flue pipe. Mine is four inch pipe, and about a foot long for example, and it is vaguely C-shaped, in that the two joints were never linked to build a circle. Think of those old photos of celebs at Palm Springs soaking up rays with little pieces of sheet metal. Skin cancer city! Then, buy (or borrow) a brick. Use it to prop up the sheet metal. With the spinny dopey bubbly in the sunshine, you position the flue, so to further bounce light into our stew. Nine minutes maybe? And then, don't forget to pour the stuff back and forth a couple of times again, and thence proceed to pour it down your neck! That's the sum of it. So how about that five bucks you owe me?
  Picture Bambi. That adorable rascal is out (with Merle Haggard perhaps?) somewhere in the middle of Montana. The choice for a drink arises. Do you (Miss Bambi), choose to drink from the scenic lake, or would the brook feeding the lake be better? If you answered "the brook", you are now qualified to become a priest in the cult. At least, that's what I figure.
  Now, if the basic premise of the crazy pants essays is to somehow or another yak about the Almighty, in seemingly accurate tones, where do we go from here? The other water recipe posting ended up on a riff having to do with the Name, and our participation in the risky business of trying new things. In it, I concluded that essentially, as we fear Him, we in turn; become "scary little dudes" ourselves (to others), but it's a good-scary! So then, have we anything to add here?
  Let us proceed thusly, to speculate freely in that cartoonish manner we have all come to expect over here, shall we? Today's "insight" I propose as; think, "soul water". Far more than any metaphor or simile, there is something very "goddy" about water. The goop is downright "spiritual"! In some sense, like water (or is it fire? or would that be light?), He Himself IS..."a drink" for our sad weary souls. Life is just one damned thing after another. Life is that profoundly distressing set of "interruptions" of what it was that I assumed I was "supposed to be busy doing". At work, and at home. At church, in the mail, on the internet, just about everywhere, things appear to conspire against time budgeting, prioritization, and effective execution of tasks. The phone rings...what again? That co-worker is still bugging us with his lousy stories about his "ex", and expects us to care, and pay attention to his blockheaded problems? Please, I'm kinda busy over here Pal, can we just get back to work(?)...please? Every white person I know, and Calvinists (with a vengeance) are "all covered up"; the schedule is already over-packed: "We have just GOT TO weed out some of this!". Sound familiar? And let's just face it; whom among us, even has the TIME to be fooling around "making water" as the cult prescribes? We are desperately thirsty for..."something" (more precisely, Some-Body), and want a "fix"...real bad!
  For instance, witness the multi-jillion dollar industry of "energy drinks". True, those drinks do jazz-stoke you up some, and are in fact, bubbly and wet. Much like good water there eh, Bambi? In our era, the universal solvent is ordinarily "dead water", or worse; stripped! I today predict that one day, distilled and R.O. water will either die as products for lack of interest, or plainly be outlawed. Stripped water is junk. Good drinking water is not merely H2O! The good Doctor P. calls that liquid "bulk water". In the book, he states clearly that we deal (herein) with H3O2 in addition to what you expected in there; and without some of that jazzy electric water stuff in your cup, the drink is mighty boring.
  We want something which we can't (ordinarily) find. Who even has a good spring nearby to drink from? And with deer piss in there (shame on you Bambi!) and all kinds of viral nasties, in even Montana's streams, we end up "needing" chlorine? Yuck. Just about every home treatment device or technique of "making good water" is (in fact) the "best on the market", and if you don't believe it, just ask 'em! How can everything be "the best"? So I am proposing that we need two waters, a "soul water", plus a decent drink of wet stuff, now and again. But I am guessing that there may well be a connection between the two. Who knew?
  We discuss the True Drink, (Mr. Drink to you) but this isn't an exclusively "spiritual" conversation. Tell me, why would it be insane to guess that Mr. Drink might well lead us carbon units into a glad toast? Why would He (of all people!) refuse a drink of cold water to one of His tykes? And mightn't we lawfully suppose that that said Drink-Meister Himself is very able to lead his kiddos to a real quencher? None of that buzzy-speedy nervous jazz of those caffeine laced, sugary goo, plus B-vitamin bombs here. No-sir-ee!
  The whole premise then (it appears to me at least), of "a drink"; really ought be to refresh! A gleam in the eye maybe? A smile, and friendly greeting maybe? It ought to have a "bounce", an "up" to it, and not that same nervous-itchy blast which taurine and caffeine yield. That running at the mouth (the nonstop talk), and the feel that everybody is just standing too close, have gotta go! A real drink should be "sweet", but not with that grotesque hydrogenated corn-syrup crud. There might even be some bubbles? Carbon dioxide is the wrong gas, how's about some oxy please?
  Big news flash...He's like that! Or more precisely, water (real spring water baby, or better-yet fresh rainwater!) is itself a dim reminder, a distant whisper of the reality which is HIM. And I, for one, stick my foot right in it, just here, and say "damned straight!". Wet stuff, is a little bit "like Him"! Odd, don't you agree, that on my own, I never, ever would have correctly predicted this reality? How did I miss that for half of a century anyhow?
  A good drink mi amigo, is always, always a pleasant surprise. We might as well deal with it. For under three bucks, your life can change...for the better! So, I guess if we burn three from five, you only owe me two.

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